Tavaar - 64th Edition

“Okay. I’m sorry, too. But you don’t know what I’m feeling, Khaiu.”

“I have a pretty good idea. But before we take this any further, I want to ask you a question; a serious question, though it may sound like mockery. Are you going to ask me to lay with you?”

He was looking at her intently. She looked back. Her feelings were swirling, and her thoughts felt muddled. He was putting it on her. She would decide. Could she? Her reply was nearly a whisper.

“I want to. At least, part of me does.”

“No. That does not answer my question. I know what you’re feeling. I know what you would like to do. I’m not asking that. I’m asking, what are you going to do? They’re not the same, Tavaar. At least, they don’t have to be. Decide with your will, not your feelings. You have never been a slave to your feelings before, so I ask you again: are you going to ask me to lay with you?”

Hesitation. “No.”

“Okay. What about Shello? Are you going to ask him to lay with you?”

“No.”

“Then what are you afraid of? You know neither Shello nor I will assault you, whatever we might desire. For one thing, we wouldn’t dare. So if we can’t start anything, and you won’t start anything, how can anything happen? From whence comes the fear?”

She continued to look into his eyes. He always seemed wise beyond his years to her, and he wasn’t afraid to tell the truth. To him, the truth was like the weather. One didn’t control it, one simply learned to function within it. He had successfully diffused the charged air between them by directly going to the cause. How she loved him. But the moment of temptation was gone. She hoped.

“From Gwihnna’s premonition.”

“Gwihnna? Kelenbah’s wife? What has she got to do with this? Are you saying she claims to have had a premonition about us?”

“About me.”

“And you believe it?”

“I – yes, I do.”

“Why?”

“Because of Bolar and Sashwa. They believe it. But it’s more than that, Khaiu. I can’t explain it, but it seems so real. And seeing you two again it has become very real.”

Khaiu took a breath and let it out slowly. “Well, I hadn’t planned on asking you for details, but since you hint it involves me and/or Shello, I guess I had better hear this. That is, assuming you are willing to tell?”

“I think I am. I trust you. And I want you to know.”

“I understand your hesitancy. You made yourself vulnerable to me that day when you offered me the greatest gift you could: your love for all time. I hurt you by not taking it. But I couldn’t, Tavaar. I’m not the one.” Her face must have shown her puzzlement, for he smiled. “Do not worry. I will not hurt you again. I will give you this warning: I tell Tura everything.”

“Everything?”

“Everything I remember.”