Tavaar - 65th Edition

We return to Tavaar. Remember she and Khaiu were sitting together by a tree. He wanted to know why she was afraid to be around him and Shello. She has been confessing her love and desires.

“So, you will tell Tura about tonight? About me offering myself to you?”

“But you haven’t offered yourself. You told me you want me to come in to you, but you have not invited me to do it.”

“There are those who would say the confession is an invitation.”

Damn! The temptation wasn’t gone. Khaiu smiled.

“Except I asked you to be clear. You said no.”

“What if I’m changing my mind?”

“Are you?”

“No.”

“Then let it go, Tavaar. Now, tell me what you will.”

“Where should I begin?”

“Where do you think is most appropriate?”

She considered. Perhaps it went back to her first meeting with Shello, when she was nine. Perhaps the kiss at sixteen. No. Khaiu already knew enough about all of that. It really began when they lost contact with each other. That was the year she and Wheylin married. When Shello was married. When she joined this company. She began there.

She was surprised at how easy the words came. They flowed steady and strong like water sliding off Fire Mountain. She found herself telling him things she had withheld from Wheylin – out of fear. Only Sashwa and Bolar knew this much, and only Sashwa knew it all. She told of how things had been for her after Shello turned her down. She talked about how lonely it was when Sashwa and Ahzbah left for military duty. Then, when Sashwa did not return as expected, she had felt lost and abandoned. So, when she agreed to kiss Wheylin, she was not careful, and they were caught. Her mother insisted they get married, and no amount of arguing would change her course. At this point, Tavaar actually laughed.

“What would she have said and done has she caught me with you? Or Shello? I let you go a lot further than Wheylin.” She hung her head. “I confess to sometimes wishing she had caught us. I hate myself for that. Wheylin deserves better. I love him. I really do. But I still catch myself dreaming of the past.” She sighed and gave Khaiu a weak smile. His general countenance was expressionless, but she had learned to read his eyes. He understood. There was no condemnation. She continued, struggling to explain her relationship with Wheylin, and the days following her joining the company. Then she came to Gwihnna’s premonition.

Khaiu’s manner told her his attentiveness had increased dramatically. Not that he hadn’t been paying attention. But now, that incredible brain of his was analyzing. She spoke more slowly, pausing to give him opportunity to seek clarification. He was very interested in Gwihnna’s premonition and he had her tell it to him several times. He pressed for any clue Gwihnna may have given over who, but Gwihnna had no idea. He was just a smoky shadow. He said nothing as she went over the various means Kelenbah and his companions used to try and break her. Then she came to the moon when she had rushed to Bolar. Khaiu perked up again, eager to hear Bolar’s response. He made her detail her conversation. Blushing, she confessed her offer to Bolar, but Khaiu took it in stride. It was as if he were gathering severed pieces of some definite shape, and trying to assemble them correctly to discover what the shape was. As to the plan they devised, he made no comment.

Tavaar continued. However, she began to stumble when she came to the part where she finally gave herself to Wheylin. She had told Sashwa everything, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to tell Khaiu. He gave her a look, apparently wondering at her discomfort. Then the truth dawned on him.

“I do not need to hear details of everything, Tavaar.”

She chuckled. Embarrassed. “Thank you.”