Tavaar - 28th Edition

Tavaar and Wheylin's life eases a bit now that she is teasing Kelenbah. Kelenbah isn't sure what to make of it, but Gwihnna knows Tavaar is not serious in her game, and she increases the pressures on Wheylin to be unfaithful. Wheylin is not in the know of Tavaar's plan, but he is aware there is a plan, so he resists. Then, after several weeks, Tavaar is ready at last to unveil her plan to Wheylin.

The passage is surprisingly long, and I'm going to have some trouble cutting it down while leaving some sense of coherency. I'll see what I can do.

Formatting: Text notes; Text narrative; Blog notes.

Tavaar and Wheylin finished the evening meal and headed out to stand guard. Tavaar changed their routine by taking the position closest to their hovel. Normally, she liked to get as far away from camp as she could. Tonight was different. Tonight she needed to prepare.

The first guard was only three turns. At midnight Sashwa came by with Ahzbah to replace them. Snow and rain were falling lightly. Sashwa made a comment about Tavaar being so close to camp, but Tavaar shrugged it off.

Tavaar and Wheylin’s hovel was a four sleeper which they shared with Sashwa and Ahzbah. Standing was not an option. There was only about four or five feet of clearance at any point. In warm weather, the doorways were left open. When the weather was cold, or rainy, a leather tarp was dropped over the door. Tavaar’s hut was made in a nest of small shrubs. It was difficult to tell what was growing and what had been added. Enough leaves and mud had been added to make it reasonably comfortable. Tavaar crawled inside.

It was warm, even without the addition of body heat. This was due to another special feature each hut had: heating rocks. There were several dozen of various sizes and shapes. These were castings made from poor quality fire ore. The Housing Line used them for floors in some of the better built houses. Those were large slabs. These were smaller, able to be moved by a single warrior. Originally, the hovel had been set up with four sleeping areas, but Tavaar and Wheylin had rearranged things so there were three: two regular sized, and one double.
Tavaar made sure the quilted blanket was spread out evenly. Blankets, quilts and skins were all used for coverings. Tavaar liked laying on the quilted blanket she had been given by her father. Its softness reminded her of her feather bed. She undressed completely and lay down, pulling another blanket over her. She and Wheylin did not use a skin. She pulled her and Wheylin’s dry clothes under the blanket with her and shoved them down by her feet. Then she waited.

Her wait wasn’t long. Someone stopped at the door, dropped to the ground, and crawled inside.

“Wheylin?”

“What?”

“Hurry and undress, will you?”

Wheylin dutifully let the door flap fall and close the min, hiding them from the outside world. He pulled his boots off and set them to the side.

“Be sure to shake your head.”

Wheylin ran his hands over and around his head, making the droplets fly in all directions.

He pulled his tunic over his head. “What’s with you, anyway?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been acting strange all day.”

“Have I?”

“Yes, you have. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. Just come to bed, will you?”

“I will,” he said, dropping his britches. “Just let me get into some dry clothes. Where are they, anyway? I can’t find them.”

“I have them,” said Tavaar. “Why don’t you come and get them?”

Even in the dark she could tell he was staring at her.

“All right, what’s the joke?” he asked.

“Come and see.”

“And what’s going to happen when I do?”

“What would you like to happen?”

A pause. “You know what I would like.”

“Then come here.”

“Really?”

“Really. Come here.”

She threw open the blanket and he fell forward. His hands tested her body. “You’re naked,” he said.

“So are you,” she said, suggestively.

“Tavaar…”

She pulled him down and kissed him. She ran her fingers down his back to his butt. She adjusted her legs and pulled him on top. He broke the kiss and held himself up on his elbows. His fingers were absently caressing her nipples.

“Tavaar…”

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Are – are you sure?”

“Wheylin! I’m stark naked. You’re naked. I just pulled you on top of me. I’m sure! Okay?”

He didn’t answer. Neither did he act. She knew him well enough to know something was wrong.

“Wheylin? Are you okay?”

“It’s not really like I imagined it would be,” he said, trying to sound amusing, but there was a hurt in his voice.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I always expected it would be – nice. I thought that you would love me, and that would be why we did it. This – I don’t – I mean – you never said you love me.”

“What?”

“We’ve been married one hundred and seventy-one days, Tavaar. And never once have you told me you love me. I don’t even know why you’re doing this. You don’t…”18

He quit speaking. Tavaar lay quiet, looking up at his dark form. She could hear his breathing. His fingers still caressed her.

“I never said I love you?” she asked.

There was a short pause and then he shook his head. She felt a single drop strike her cheek. Was this the weather, falling from his hair? Or was he crying? She placed her hands on his arms and slid them up to his shoulders. Then she pulled him down. He moved his hands to her shoulders.

She kissed his ear. “I’m sorry. I should have been telling you all along. I do love you, Wheylin. I really do.”

He broke down and wept. She held him. He was wrapped in her arms while she gently kissed his hair and caressed his back. She cooed for him, and when he turnred his head she touched his lips with her own. He kissed back.

“I love you, Tavaar. I love you so much.”

“I have been a poor wife. No longer. Tonight we are going to lay together – if you still want to.”

Wheylin laughed. “I do. I do, Tavaar.”

“You know,” she said, “when you hesitated, I thought it was because you were afraid.”

He chuckled. “Well, to tell the truth, I am. I want to do it, but I’m afraid you won’t like it the way I do.”

“I know. I’m afraid of the same thing. And, to be completely honest, I’m afraid it might hurt.”

“It won't, will it?"

“I don’t know. I’ve never done this before. Have you?”

“Me? Tavaar, nobody even wants to kiss me. Not really.”

“I do. Really. Come on then. We’ll go slow.”

“You’ll let me know if it does hurt? Will you?”

“I will.”

She was glad of her talk with Bolar. The talk had included, among other things, the topic of laying with someone. How should it be initiated? What could she expect, from herself and from Wheylin? It was a conversation her mother had tried to have with her many times over the last year or so, but Tavaar had adamantly refused to discuss it. With Bolar, however, she found herself saying and listening to things she sometimes wouldn’t talk about even with Sashwa. Her fears, for instance. What was it like, really? Being male, Bolar was unable to fully appreciate the answer, but his matter-of-fact approach was reassuring. Also, Fadew, his wife of four score years, had discussed this very topic with him repeatedly. So he was able to relate what Fadew had told him. Naturally, he was very helpful in telling her what to expect from Wheylin. He told her Wheylin would be nervous, and why. He also prepared her for the fact that, while Wheylin certainly knew what to do, he was not likely to be very adept on the how, at least at first. She might even need to ‘give him a hand’, as it were. This turned out to be so. Tavaar had to steer him.

One thing Bolar had stressed was that Tavaar was unlikely to find the experience physically satisfying – at least, the first time. Some women did. Fadew claimed had. But for many women physical satisfaction came from training their husbands on what to do and how to do it. There was a very common reason for this: most males were so excited the experience didn’t last long. For some, it was over before it began. In time, the males would learn to control themselves. But the first time was generally short.

Much of what Bolar said came to pass. It had not hurt. Bolar had conceded that it could. He had provided her with an ointment, just in case. Wheylin had needed help, and it didn't last long. But feeling Wheylin inside her when he peaked filled her with surprise. She had not expected it to matter to her so much. Her own physical pleasure had been minimal – as Bolar had warned. But her joy at having done this for Wheylin was beyond her comprehension. She felt him relax in her arms.

“So, was that worth the wait?” she asked.

He responded by kissing her. “You were the best,” he said.

“Well, as I was the first and only, I guess that is true,” she replied.

“What about you?”

She was ready for this. Bolar had prepared her for the males’ belated interest in providing at least as much pleasure as they got. Ultimately, it truly was important to them, and in time they would consider it at the start instead of the end. But for now, she had to be honest without demoralizing. She kissed him long.

“It was even better than I expected,” she said. “I think I love you even more, Wheylin. No, don’t move. Let’s just stay like this for now.”

“I couldn’t tell,” he said. “When it happened for me – well, wow! What about you? Did it happen?”

Damn! A direct question.

“Well, no, but it doesn’t always have to,” she said, quickly. “Maybe the next time it will.”

“Then – this isn’t going to be the only time?”

She had to laugh. “No. Of course not. I want to do it again.”

“Right now?”

His boyish eagerness caught her by surprise. She really laughed now, and pulled him close. Well, why not, she thought? Maybe she could get him to slow down a bit. She might as well begin right off teaching him how to please. Some of it she had to learn herself.

“Okay. Let’s.”

The second time was better than the first. Wheylin lasted longer, but still not long. Afterward, she again would not let him slide off, and they lay and talked.

“Why did you suddenly decided to lay with me?” Wheylin asked.

“It was not sudden. I have wanted to do this for a long time.”

“They why didn’t you? There have been many chances. We were alone in the Couple’s Cabin. Why did you wait if it was what you wanted?”

It was her turn to pause. She caressed his face as she prepared her thoughts.

“Until tonight, I have not been completely honest with you, Wheylin, though I have been completely true. While I have wanted to lay with you for some time now, it has not been from the beginning. At the beginning I was angry, and I vented my anger against you. I am sorry. Please forgive me. Do you?”

“Of course I do.”

“In my anger, I made a decision not to lay with you, or anyone else. I just didn’t care anymore. I enlisted Bolar’s help. I remember he argued all day with me, but as he saw I was set in my way he eventually relented. Since that time I have not dared lay with you.”

“Why not?”

“I feared I would bear a child.”

“But the marriage potion prevents that.”

“I took no marriage potion, Wheylin. Not until last moon.”

“But I have seen you! You have drank from the little keg every day, the same as the other wives.”

“Not the same. My keg contained only tea. Bolar sent a scroll to Vohbiv with instructions.” Wheylin was silent. “I am so sorry, Wheylin. I was wrong. And after tonight I wish we had done this from the beginning. But it will be from now on.”

“So that is why you went back to Gahrem? You wanted to ask Bolar for the real potion? Why not just tell Vohbiv? He would have made it.”

“He would have, but Vohbiv didn’t know what was going on. He may suspect, but he wasn’t told. Bolar’s instructions merely told him to make my potion from the mix of herbs Bolar had sent especially for me. Vohbiv may have thought Bolar had merely added a flavor enhancement. Most women don’t mind the taste, but I think its awful. But I didn’t go to Gahrem to have Bolar give me the real baby drink. That that is just how it worked out.”

“Then why did you go?”

“To tell him what I was planning to do. I wanted someone to tell me I was right before I acted. I was afraid to ask you, or even Sashwa. So I decided on Bolar. He had no claim in this and I knew I could trust him.”

“What were you planning?”

A pause. “To have your baby. Now. This year. It would get us both out and away
from Gwihnna and Kelenbah.”

A longer pause.

“But Bolar disagreed?”

“Yes. He said our wedding was already clouded with suspicion. It happened so fast. Many were watching to see if a child was soon to come. If one did, it was almost certain the child would be declared Unaligned.”

“So what was Bolar’s solution?”

“That I should just start taking the real drink. He said I could lay with you then without worry. He said it would bind us closer than I could imagine. He was right about that, too. Having lay with you now twice, I want to do it again and again.”

“You mean right now?”

She laughed. “All right. But this time let’s try something new.”